Showing posts with label engagement ring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label engagement ring. Show all posts

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Engagement ring

10/11/11

About 8 months ago i bought myself a ring, it was something for me and to wear as something for me myself in that moment. i have always loved moon stone. so moon stone it became. womanly, magical, good for energy and circulation, my birthstone along with opal. Something so innocent and unexpecting has become so much. In different ways, situations, in life!
i associate the ring with safety from my stalker, it seemed a barrier to him and yet i never know when he will turn up. Phone calls have started again in a time i thought that just maybe he might has gone. he is back! i feel unsafe when i go to england so the ring comes whenever i travel there. but i am starting to feel trapped by this and feel i need to not react of this man who has such a profound ability to scare me. But he makes me strong because i realise how strong i am. i am not free from danger but i am strong.
the ring is also a clear sign that my heart is occupied. there is a great love in my life, such that i haven't been ready to experience until now. life is such a strange journey.In the way it prepares us for new challenges and surprises us with what is so unimaginably beautiful, that we don't imagine it.
i think to be asked to wear a engagement ring would be a big honour and moment in my life to remember. funny to own this now as i have never imagined to be engaged or to be chained to someone as i used to see it. to say to the law that you will be together when actually it should be enough to say this to each other. but a part of me wants to know that i am wanted and that i can want them in return so strongly as to say yes. to say i am totally in love with you and from this an attachment to build more love and deeper connection on. to love you, desire and want you, accept you for the beautiful person you are while we work together in creating a life we can both be fulfilled by. if he asked me i would say yes. once this had a meaning of freedom and now a wish.
the ring is still on my finger as i go to england. What does it mean and how has this changed? i am afraid, i am in love, i want to signify something and be significant. i want to love my beautiful man and bring fulfillment ot our lives, forgetting this stranger that imposes himself on something that is beautiful and changes my life.