Friday, 4 January 2019

Chameleon woman



Once happy knowing herself, she walked full of confidence and promise into the unknown world of connection. Seeking new adventures and revelations, to learn new thoughts and ways to live in the world. She fought those who tried to squash her, or cause her harm. She grew to know only the cruelty that was the people around her.

Chameleon sat in the stillness in her own state. Forever mindful of the hot suns rays. From out of nowhere came a herd of people, without thought or desires they simply inhabited her space. Like a flood she heard their inner most thoughts, their desires and their tears the fears that they shared not. Insecurities that rot them to the core, responsibility for their lives abandoned to instant pleasures and gratification. She finds herself feeling more than her original bliss, more than the body absorbing suns kiss. Wave upon wave break over her head, she is struggling to breath, to feel the thoughts flow in her own head. Suffocating on unshielded remorse or unrequited love or was it after all the conceited wish to simply be loved. Known to the whole world for doing precisely nothing, these animals were strange in the importance they put on such things. 

She looked in one direction to feel panic and pain. Another brought joy but there it was, momentary food gluttony and then again. Yet another brought love and an intangible kind of ignorance, still further she searched for something more and a lot different. They were a group craving a group, they didn't belong and yet knew they could. Standing there with the technology of the day connecting to everyone yet not to those a stone throw away. Connecting to the world on metaphysical lines, but wanting the connection physical touch brings. 

The chameleon had lost herself in all this, her skin had changed quite a hundred times, to keep up with the feelings that washed through a now animal mind. Wave upon wave came from this ocean to wash over her consciousness and abrade her devotion to herself. Adapting thousands of times to the non essential, frivolousness of the collective animal. But as the sun died his temporary death, below the earths surface to his transitory place of rest, the human animals departed for the seeming safety of their homes. To wallow yet further in the days unconcerns. Putting their heads in the sand with films and with drink. With anything that might help them to sink, into unconscious peaceful oblivion and away from life's hard plans and sweaty stink.

Suddenly alone, confusion sets in. She has become nothing but a reaction machine. All her energy that was inside at the beginning of the day, was taken up with forever changing to this now gone herds emotional play. All sense of self lost. All energy to find it gone. She puts her head in the sand and wishes the life to be drowned out of her reptilian bones. Dreamless sleep was not meant to be, as they came forth as does a tyrant of bees. Stinging her into feeling the pain of being a live, knowing the knowledge that she can't just lay down and die. She rises in the cold midnight air, breathing in deeply and seeing the moon smiling at her. The moon asks her what she would do now, if all the worlds freedom was hers for the making. He asked her what she liked of her past, what she wanted from her future. She could only stand looking aghast. He sat there when she cried, laughed in the face of a seeming danger. Chameleon searched inwardly to the deepest parts of herself, she knew she was blessed but the not answers of the moons questions did her jest. So she searched on in her internal quest. Changing color like the shifting sky, through sunrise, to midday when the sun was again out to play. To evening and sunset and repeating all that. Night after night she would she his gentle face,  no wiser in the relentless days passing, missed. After one whole year and one whole day, the full moons face shone her way. He asked her again.

Chameleon women whispered that love is what she remembered, although hard to come by. Continually being molded by past stories like a lump of unrefined clay. Moon asked again feigning the inability to hear. She spoke again, this time with frustration a little more clear. As she did so, a myriad colors glimmered under her skin. Subdued by their depth but with a willingness to thrive therein. Full moon smiled at her answer. Chameleon i will grant you one wish, for you have given me great joy and great sadness together in one delectable dish. i have watched you for a year and a day,  your color shifting like the ever active thoughts inside you unable to obey. The answer was simple, but you didn't trust it when the question was first asked. Like a prince who has to go on a mission to find hardship before he can be king. You needed to find yourself and what was within. You are the strongest of your kind that i ever had pleasure to watch in the din. I wish you to come to me in my realm, but leave you free to take up your own path. Know that i love you.

In that moment chameleon women spoke, she asked to have wings to fly away from the earth. Far away from the noisy consciousnesses of the animals here. To find a place where she could be herself, embalmed in serenities embrace. Souring through the emptiness of space. She wanted to fly closer to the sun and feel his unhindered warmth. Bath in the moons tranquility and feel the safety within his gentle magnetic pull. The moon was a little a taken back. Never in all his lifetime had he expected this. This creature would come to his domain and live a life so like his own. He was born to loneliness and now not alone.


Thursday, 24 May 2018

3 tips to help take care of your contracts...





Over the last weeks many situations have arisen where people are unhappy with the ending situation of the contract. Not surprisingly this is the first time and a result of having more than 100 clients now at Iwi studios with a range of different contract types. Some Written by us and some by the building owners we represent. Through the years i have also been the client and had my own set of surprises, some in hindsight i should have realized and some where very real abuses of power. No matter who has made the contract or who has signed it, some similar situations come and maybe more importantly there are some basic things we can do to avoid this. While some companies dealing with client contracts always expect the worse when a contract is finished, i prefer to at least share some observations and help prepare people for a bit awareness when it comes to signing a legal document.

This in no way has any effect on any of our contracts legal or otherwise. Its meant as a tool, to inform and suggest options. Please keep in mind that consulting your own lawyer in legal situations is the advised thing to do and only there can you truly get case specific information that will help you legally.

Consider what a contract is for a moment. Think a formal legally binding agreement where two parties establish an understanding about a specific situation like work, a sale or tenancy. The document captures all the important things for both parties and can act like a reference for how they relate to each other. It incorporates clauses which capture in greater detail specific subjects important to the overall situation and document. If there is a misunderstanding the last signed contract is the place to go for clarity. BUT importantly the document is not a gentle mans agreement but intended to be enforceable by Law. There are a number of factors that make a good contract but generally its held that once signed, its legally binds. As someone signing you are taking responsibility to uphold your end of the agreement.


1. Clauses to take note of (specific to tenancy agreements):


  • Who is on the contract: As a tenant its important to realize who it is you are dealing with. Is it a company or an individual? Can you see them on your local government handle register or Google then to see what comes up. Check the personality of who you are dealing with as this has more relevance than you might think. Unless you want to go to court with every dispute, this person you deal with will be part of the mediation. In the case of a bigger company, you might deal with multiple people unknown to you at the time of signing. Are you signing together with someone or alone? If you sign together with someone as a partnership in relation to the new landlord you are basically saying you trust this person to fulfill all the requirements with you. Its not enough to do half but in the end if your partner is unreliable then you will have to meet the full agreement with the landlord.
  • The Basic agreement: This should be as specific as possible. Sometimes we think if we leave the contract open in certain areas it will give us wiggle room. But realize if you have space to interpret so does the other party! For tenancy contracts, dates, times, the space itself, monthly price, whats included in this, how its paid, who is it paid to, how do you stop the contract.
  • Force Majeure: Under what conditions can your landlord stop the contract, this is relating to Force Majeure or the unknown circumstances that usually don't arise but can. They are out of the control of those who have entered into an agreement. For example i include that if there is a fire or flooding, or in the situation where my property is being damaged then i have the right to terminate the agreement directly. Termination triggers are also good to establish. If someone causes major damage to my property like breaking windows, mirrors, stealing a sound system or destroying the wooden floors we often have, these would be included in a termination clause. Touch wood, i have never had to use this one to date.
  • Dispute resolution and damages control: Often forgotten clauses but essential to clarify the process if something were to happen. With the best of intentions situations change and this can be for the renter as well as the landlord. It means that at the start of the contract we are usually closer in our agreement than 6 months into our working agreement. Sometimes its advisable to renew the contract and update it. But keep in mind many big organisations won't want the hassle of this, and once you sign you are bound by it. 


3. Types of signers

As a manager of multiple locations i come across two basic types of contract signers. Those who take it very seriously and want to read and discuss every clause, hopefully leaving the contract signing meeting with clear idea of whats expected all round but more often they are just happy the ordeal is over and they can enjoy their new space.  And then there are those who simply sign without much real awareness of what they actually have to do for the contract. In these cases i take it on myself to explain as much as possible what it means to them, but i experience the details don't really land into a real sense that this document is legally binding and they will be expected to conduct themselves in a way conducive to the contract. There is also a small group hugely in minority that take a contract seriously, leave having understood and taking responsibility for what is included in the agreement. I love these people as there are very few misunderstandings and no surprises when they stop a contract.

Why is this important? Well ask yourself as a person signing a contract: Do you understand intrinsically what the clauses mean and the expectations of you and the other party involved? Do you realise that by not understanding you put yourself at risk of surprises? i have put below a couple of case studies to show what happens when people indifferently sign contracts of sign when they actually don't understand.

Case study: Basic situation is a big group of artists sharing an atelier, think 16 people. Legal situation is that a contract has been signed by one head renter and this is the person i as building manager and legal representative of the building owner, liaise with over anything legal, financial or problematic. Including things done by those who are sharing their space. So while the contract is directly made with the building owners name on it, i can officially sign the contract in this capacity. All finances and legal agreement is made directly with the owner. Humane situation is a building manager who is trying to help the group in question, with the idea of making a community building flavour in the building. A large group not properly informed by their head renter and multiple lines of communication to each other, the head renter the building owner and the manager. Lastly the head renter took the signing of the contract seriously but in my opinion didn't intrinsically understand a word of the agreement and how this would affect day to day running of the space he rented. Mainly that he takes the responsibility for any third party people who are brought into his rented space.

So you now have a pretty complex situation with multiple parties involved formally and informally. You have 4 types of people in this situation: the building owner, the head renter, the building manager and the lastly the third party renters under the jurisdiction of the head renter.

Simplification: 

  • Basic contractual and legally binding agreement is between the Building owner and the head renter. The building manager as legal representative of the building owner acts in the stead of the building owner. Communications about the contract should go between the Building manager and the head renter.
  • Building manager is responsible for staying as true to the wishes of the building owner as possible, checking anything questions or things not clear in the contract before continuing. 
  • The head renter is responsible for communicating with the Building manager about all things necessary for keeping the contract in tact. They are also responsible for any third parties they bring into the space including 'in house agreements', communications of important updates from the building manager and correcting any behavior from third parties that's goes outside of the contract they have signed.
  • Building owner is responsible for providing a quality contract that is clear and workable for both parties. They have the end responsibility in disputes and working with the head renter to clarify things that aren't clear in the contract. This is a last resort and only occurs when there is an actual dispute over the contents of the contract that goes outside of a feasible interpretation from the building manager.
  • Third party renters communicate with the head renter about all matters. the head renter is the one defining the way they can use the rented space, the agreement setup for this. It is suggested that as a third party renter you ask to see the original contract of the head renter to know what the conditions of the space are and within this make your own working agreement/contract to protect you in strange situations. Its also advised to seek contact with the building manager if you are unclear about whats expected of you. But in the end your agreement is with the head renter and the building manager has no legal responsibility towards you personally. The building manager also has no right to act on your behalf in disputes between you and your head renter. But with a good manager they will give time to help where they can to guide the process and find solutions.
So you can see that in a complex situation things can go wrong if expectations are not in keeping with the contract and actual legal situation. This is usually due to a lack or or poor communication between the different parties. Imagine that the third parties expect same rights as head renter and head renter doesn't take on their responsibility to manage his third party renters expectations through adequate communication. Head renter also doesn't communicate with the building manager. The building manager being too helpful in 1-2-1 contact which gives all levels of renters a feeling of expectation that are met and not met. But all in all when we come back to the contract its clearly stated how we work together. I have had a love hate relationship with contracts over the years but coming more and more to the feeling that a good contract protects everyone involved. While i try to inform people about what they are signing its really important that the Signees take time to understand and truly give there agreement.  



3. Contract beginnings and ending

With contract beginnings is a wonderful moment for all concerned. The one renting out the space is happy to have it rented and the one signing for the space is full of hopes for their new promised land. Its a time of sincere and insincere moments leading to the signing of the contract. The natural growth and change of individuals and organisations over time mean that the longer a contract is in place or where there were misunderstandings, the Signees feel and test the boundaries of a contract. Whether quickly or a long time passes, the boundaries become so strong as the lead to the stopping of a contract or the need for a new contract to be negotiated. Stopping of contracts immediately shows up all the misunderstandings of the time that lapsed and any frustrations felt by both sides. Renegotiation of a contract is sadly less used and probably because it asks a lot from all parties involved.

As a manager dealing with hundreds of contracts i find this situation interesting. Personally i have a feeling of dread when someone stops a contract, mostly because there is suddenly a void of unknown about how this situation will be completed. I would really like to find a way to ease the process, aid the process of understanding the agreement without being too helpful which raises strange expectations rather than the help being appreciated.

As someone who has also been a renter of buildings i understand now how important it is to not get too nervous about contracts, i was in the take a contract seriously group but leave without understanding everything.  Particularly when dealing with dutch contracts. A contract is made for a legally binding reason and everything inside it counts.

I worked for one tango school here in the Netherlands who asked me to sign a gentle mans agreement that wasn't a contract but turned out to be legally binding because i niavely signed the thing.

Another situation i experienced was a contract that was so open and unspecific that the building owners kept putting more and more restrictions on what we could do in our space. This is my responsibility as much as theirs, i now ask that clauses are changed and defined to meet my needs and if not then we at the very least discuss the clause. I would also in future record the discussion as contracts can be verbal as well as a document. we often forget this as verbal agreements are hard to prove. Recording the conversation is a good way to at the very least ensure further understanding of what has been talked about.

A third situation i have been in was where a contract was simply stopped by a big organisation who hadn't realized that parties in the contract mean actual real life parties and what this entails. After we had invested in a great setup and made a beautiful new location they started to make problems of small things that if sorted shouldn't have been anything more than that. We did more than we should of to return the space as we found it according to the photos provided by the owner. Their building manager agreed that we should have 100% of the deposit returned after we asked to do yet more things to ensure a good handover. The owners wanted to keep the deposit because of damages they thought they had incurred. When it came down to it this was in my opinion completely made up. Its a hard decision to make but i got a lawyer to help me in this case. The lawyer cut through the crap and made it clear that although i was only a renter and Zzp'er that they needed to take me seriously and return the deposit i gave to them at the start of renting. 2/3 of the deposit was returned, 1/3 of which i used to pay the lawyer.

In conclusion i would suggest that all who are busy with making and signing contracts should get informed. Relief stress by knowing what decision you are actually making when signing a legally enforceble document, often with people you don't know. If you are not clear don't sign, if its going to stop you from doing what you need to do, don't sign. Negotiate, clarify and be proactive in seeking advice from a lawyer if necessary.

Monday, 19 March 2018

Poem: Choices by Isolde Kanikani











Choices


Once in a time past there was stillness,
Like a ponds surface, reflective and unbroken,
Before i knew what love was,
Though i had had the emotion,

The pounding in your chest in anticipation,
Of hot thirsty lips caressing your skin,
Hearts meeting but afraid of leaving,
I didn't recognise love in all this,

Even when i looked into his face,
Seeing only my own refection,
In the ponds mirrored gaze

I kissed the surface,
Questions came with every ripple,
Expanding into choices,
Leading to different paths

Dare to love or don't love,
Chase the dream or sit still
Stay or leave, Do or die without having lived at all.

Many replicas of me in parallel worlds,
Discover the answer differently
I look back at the choices i have made,
Leading me to this moment and this road

One choice has always remained in my head,
To remind my heart that i have dared,
The decision is past,
Replaced by a new choice

i choose love

Author: Isolde Kanikani

Sunday, 18 March 2018

Gedicht: De Vijver.







De Vijver.


Er was eens, in een tijd geleden, stilte
Als een vijversoppervlak, reflecterend en ongebroken,
Voordat ik wist wat liefde was,
Hoewel ik de emotie had gehad.

Het bonzende in je borst, in afwachting,
Van hete dorstige lippen die je huid strelen,
Harten ontmoeten, maar bang om te vertrekken,
Ik herken de liefde niet in dit alles.

Zelfs toen ik hem aankeek,
Zag ik alleen mijn eigen reflectie,
In de vijvers een gespiegelde blik.

Ik kuste het oppervlak,
Vragen ontvouwde zich met elke rimpeling,
Uitbreidend naar keuzes,
Leidend naar verschillende paden.

Durf lief te hebben of niet,
Achtervolg de droom of zit stil
Blijf of vertrek, doe iets of sterf zonder ooit geleefd te hebben.

Vele replica's van mij in parallelle werelden,
Ontdekken het antwoord anders
Ik kijk terug op de keuzes die ik heb gemaakt,
Nemen mij terug naar dit moment en deze weg.

Eén keuze is altijd in mijn hoofd gebleven,
Om mijn hart eraan te herinneren dat ik het gedurfd heb,
Het besluit is voorbij,
Vervangen door een nieuwe keuze

ik kies liefde

Schrijver: Isolde Kanikani

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Tango Stories: (1) Rooftop in Buenos Aires

This is the first of our stories collected from our original post asking for submissions two years ago. These were made into a book that sold out within a month and wasn't reprinted to keep the project special and unique. After all it wasn't about the money out about making a final creation that could be shared amongst those submitting stories and their families.




Rooftop in Buenos Aires


There were many things that lead to this moment standing with what i could only describe as my first love. I had girl crushes and the idea of loving many times before but not the all consuming feeling of wishing to know someone, wanting to be in contact and sharing more of myself than i ever had done before.

I went to a tango salon with my dancing partner in Canning, a great traditional salon for dancing. My dance partner wanted to dance  with some of the most experienced dancers in the room but because he wasn't known there found that they turned him down more often than danced. While he was not really in the mood for dancing i soon found the eyes and cabaceo of a man sitting two tables over from us. We danced a tanda (4 songs) and then sat down again at our own tables. i found the first dances challenging and not so comfortable. So it sort of surprised me that i said yes again a little later on. In the end we danced 4 tandas which is quite something seeing that my dance partner pretty much sat throughout and more than one tanda in a evening tends to imply a closer relation or leading that way.

We exchanged numbers and emails. Leaving the milonga with my dance partner i found a cheeky email waiting for me when i got home in the early hours of the night. He invited me to come to a milonga the next evening and meet him. So this time going alone i found myself dancing the whole evening. This guy introduced me to various people at the salon and we tried our very bad English and Spanish on each other. He got me to try an empanada for the first time and introduced them as some of his favourite food. He asked more about me and also if i would be interested to practice with him. i was in Buenos Aires to learn and so i thought why not. i invited him to the tango house where i was staying which also conveniently has a dance floor that can be used.

We met and practiced for 3 hours solid, he drilled me at every turn and i had the feeling afterwards of not being able to dance anymore. in the end he saw this and i think felt a bit bad about it. It was a really hot evening so we went up onto the big open roof that overlooked the skyline of Buenos Aires and gave hints of the neighboring buildings in Barrio Boedo. We sat there for hours sharing stories. He realized i could lead and asked me to lead him. We danced on the rooftop and the lesson continued. Then in one moment he showed how it was to lead a specific movement, then taking one hand and placing it on my waist. Another hand going to my face where he brushed away a piece of hair blown by the hot breeze. He must have seen my softly wild look at these gestures and returned his own, eclipsed only by the kiss that followed.

Anonymous Author, 2016